I am great at fooling myself. Think I may enjoy it in some delusional way. I love to sing and play guitar but up until recently, I've have been struggling to come past the barrier of "what if someone doesn't like me?". "What if I'm not good enough to get the approval of a majority". Moving forward may not always be an option , crossroads intertwine to make moving forward mean going back into the spaghetti junction of decisions that don't play out smoothly any more. But why does it have to be smoothly?
I've hesitated and stalled over what I really want , a lot ,I believe it's called growing up . Bad decisions are not making one , at least you can move on quicker .
I know I may not get what I want all the time , but there is freedom to be yourself if you don't care as much if someone cares about you or not. Think I am getting to the stage where "if you don't like me , your loss , I'm fricken awesome"
This took me like 30 mins to write but what the hell putting it up
Stare at me right now,
Somehow you see what I felt,
stare me down now,
You know, I know I should’ve have left
I should’ve, should’ve left
Enough, falling to my knees, still standing straight you are.
Have got that fresh scar, to tend to,
Brush gut , with wrench, Tightened as you hit me with
You look as if it was just a gift, but it was just enough to break me.
Stare at me right now,
Somehow you see what I felt,
Stare me, stare me down now,
You know, I know I should’ve have left
I should’ve, should have left
Enough, pangs of what has been felt by many,
And Many times been before,
Deplore, deplore,
I took it more once more
Once more, Than I ever should have.
Deplore, deplore
I took me down more than more than you ever could have,
But that feelings telling me
Deplore, deplore.
Staring at you right now,
Somehow you felt what I felt
Stare me down now,
If you can at all,
I see another way,
To win the game that I never knew was played,
But that’s just too easy, too easy.
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